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Daniel and the Corset Empire!

Jan. 6th, 2013

11:36 am - Hi, it's me

Yeah. I'm back. (looks at feet.) Howzit going?

Yeah. I went to Facebook. Naww, not there any more.

Well, it was all about stealing my thoughts and pictures for someone else's profit under the guise of being socal. Yeah, I was still lonely. No I don't expect you to take me back.

But I have these thoughts and I was sharing them with my buds on Fetlife and forgot there's people here.

Things like how grateful I was that the dwarves in the Hobbit were mostly studs and I was secretly scared that characters named Oin, Ori, Kili, Fili, Gloin, and Dwalin, Balin, Bifur, Bombur, Ikky, Wickey, Pickey, Sneezy, Wheezy, Bucky, Fuckey, Stuckey, Plucky, Mucky, and Dave, might be portrayed kinda like a Disney advertizement for Diabetes care - sweet sweet sweet - leaving us craving an insulin shot or a good combat style hate fuck.

I was so relieved to see the first Dwarf hit the screen - tatoos on his SCALP - dressed in badass leather. I was wondering if these were going to be Rammstein dwarves? Then the next two were studs from studland! I just couldn't wait to see how they portrayed Fuckey!

If you've been waiting and wondering, I'm back. If you're just irritated with my existence and wondering why you had not removed me from your list, wonder no more. I'm really still not work safe, still not white glove, and more verbal than most days.

Really, I've had it with Facebook. I finally was forced by business to get a new smartphone. I loaded my previous phone numbers from Google Voice. It was sort of amazing. You see when I got my google account, they suggested I load my contacts from m old Yahoo account. That transported a contact from EVERY SINGLE PERSON I EVER CHATTED WITH on Yahoo messenger for the last 12 years. And then time went on and it incorporated EVERY PERSON I HAD TRAFFIC WITH ON FACEBOOK.

There were over 8000 contacts in my phone. I had phone numbers of many people I merely said, "s'up." to once back when I used to drink (still don't yay). I don't know what would happen if I rang their phone and said, "Hi this is Dan; I still think you're a stud? You ever in Albuquerque?"

Of course you all know there would be the quick bust over to voicemail and they would not answer. None of us do anymore. But I was just sick of how this was going. Will it get worse? Yes. Have I already done the damage by taking part this far? Probably. but I am no longer helping Fakebook harvest my life or yours. You found me here. It was lovely. It will be again.

Honest all bullshit aside, I have been a flit and did not treat people the attention I feel I had promised long ago. That's a Dan ramble for now. Special shout out to Bill and Bridget - my love in LA (ok ok it's NOT LA it's Ontario/Chino/Kukamongasomething)

Tags:

Dec. 22nd, 2010

12:51 pm - relief

We're around the corner. House is saved and things are busy and we expect to be solvent. I want top thank all my friends and family for helping. New Mexico FetLife was a HUGE help and Sera Miles helped tons getting the word out.

We are still offering the 2 for 1 special on gift certificates until Jan 1st.

Happy holidays to all!

Dan

Current Mood: hopefulhopeful

Dec. 9th, 2010

12:23 pm - Xcentricities Dark Day

DARK DAY Announcement: We need your help please. 2010 has been difficult and just got painfully urgent. We have been told that we are going to be foreclosed and closed on 12/31/2010 because we have fallen late on our payments. If such a foreclosure happens, it is likely this will end Xcentricities as a business. Many of you guys know me as a fighter/wrestler, but this is the livlihood that gets me out to see you.

I am not asking for a hand out - everyone here is in tight trouble. Your patronage in part may help. I am offering Facebook 2 for 1 gift certificates in any amount. You buy a $200 certificate - it's worth $400 in January and anytime beyond. If you buy a $25 certificate it's double to $50 as well. I hope we have been worthy servants to the world and hope you find us an asset worth preserving. I am asking most humbly could you please help us in this dark time. Contact Dan at at xcentricities2010@gmail.com for more details.

I appreciate you guys reading this.

Dan

please check the new www.Corset.net

Dec. 31st, 2009

07:00 pm - Mission Accomplished

Kicked PTSD in the ass and learned to fight to live.
Built my own damned website.
Got hired by a growing company that wants me and wants to throw $$$$ at me.
I am more fit now than I ever have been in my life.
My diet is changed and I eliminated junk food from it completely.
I have stopped seeking a mountain with a guru on top. I am the mountain.

bring on 2010

Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative

Apr. 28th, 2009

07:58 pm - DEATH to little changepurses!!!

So... I had this express mail package to send. Of course I took a nap this afternoon and made my own problem. It was going to be real close to the express cut off time... It's going to hinge whether we get the $2500 wedding order or not. I have money riding on this... It was going to be...close...

Real close...

So when pressure is on, the use of manners can be put to the test... I did ok.

I got to the post office at 4:50... 10 minutes till cutoff. There were 12 people in line.

I did not tell the lady that smelled of beer that the INFINITY STAMPS are a good purchase because they will KEEP you from spending INFINITY holding people up while your pickled BRAIN asks stupid questions that might mean the difference between spending $1.22 on your package or $1.34.

The demons in my brain were howling to rend her flesh from her scalp if she asked one more question... they were kicked to the floor and fed snausages... it was all i had.

I did not make a sound when the woman from the courthouse said, "I have a few more packages in the car. I'll get them while you get started on these." The demons, face stuffed with snausages, moaned weakly when she arrived with 16 more envelopes and a couple more packages.

I moaned in frustration when the woman with her grandson's birthday present wanted to know if she should send this registered mail.... you know the one that has every step of the way documented and is bloody expensive? yeah that one - or should she do this via Express mail. And insurance? How much insurance? Oh no insurance... I was personally eating snausages before she left.

I bit my hand when the little hispanic mamasita went to send in her property tax payment... The clerk said that will be $4.22. I have to confess I was stunned. i did not know what all she was sending that would come that high. She asked a questions in Spanish. Curiosity etched her face. The demon in my head HOWLED for release and a respite from the fake meat products I had at my disposal. "Go on, shout it!" he told me.

Out of snausages, I decided to ignore him.

"COME ON shout it out loud!!!"

I ignored him and began to read a phamplet on Selective Service and me...

"HEY the VIRGIN MARY has appeared in the PARKING LOT!"

Mamacita started counting out change. She had four ones counted out. She found that she had a change purse for pennies. She had a change purse for quarters... she had a change purse that contained nickles and dimes. That's not right. She asked her daughter next to her why the nickles and dimes were mixed together and where was her other change purse? Each of the little purses looked exactly the same.

"Quanto?" she asks again.

"OH COME ON!!!! The VIRGIN HERSELF! RUN!!!! RUN!!!!! she'll be gone back to the tortilla factory if you miss her!!!" Blood leaked out of my eyes as i stook there wringing my hands.

It's a bad day always when one must violate the Boy Scout Oath and threaten little old ladies in your MINd... but shit... they are owned by the Mormons anyway and they want me dead as it is so fuck it...

...but still I waited.

She achieved the magic number of four dollars and twenty-two cents... and took her recepit. And stood and read it...

...twice...

And it was my turn...

"This is past the cut off time" the nitrogen in my blood boiled as my mind had been tossed into the vacuum of space. "I was here...where were you??" i said sharply.

She smiled one of those down home midwest smiles..."Aww Joew isn't here yet to pick this up and won't be 'til six. He was past seven yesterday. No worries...."

The demon in my mind went back to the torn shreds of snausages... Hmmm....tasty...

I took my receipt and refused to read it or even look at it.

I got to the van and found that I left it running in the handicapped space... not going to stop coffee this week either.

so there...

Apr. 27th, 2009

03:38 pm - The most tasteless thing I ever said at a Funeral

So it was actually the wake - and NO you get to know for whom the bell tolled...

There was this hunky archeologist in the cocktail circle chatting with various older people relieved it wasn't them. They got to the part where they were saying, "god I feel old when I see a girl dressed in a club negligee going to school..." and the attached "You know you're old when..." comments rolling out.

I stood next to the archeologist and said, "You know you're old when you lay there and someone comes up and sticks a hook up your nose, pulling out your brain..."

The circle stood shocked and I found out that the archeologist had a thing for sharp tongued tall red-headed men...

Apr. 24th, 2009

08:14 am

So I had someone ask me what was the craziest customer question I ever had. As you know I sell corsets across America and have for 11 years now. I don't know everything and I loathe corset "experts" that get all haughty and important about underwear.

Corsetry is a myth-based industry. Even in its heyday corsets were regarded as imbued with magical powers of attraction and body modification. The myth that women in the 1880s removed ribs to improve their corset profile still reach me told and retold every week! (How someone would do such a thing before the invention of anesthesia and anti-biotics when notions of surgery were in their infancy is rfeally beyond me. I see a woman laying on her recovery bed for 2 years bleeding and agonizing and being told by male doctors her post-surgical pains are just hysterical, ya know... this must be myth. Source Valerie Steele, THE CORSET)

I had a woman at Anime Expo, a huge Anime convention held in Anaheim at the time, come up to me and ask "How long does it take your ribs to heal from being broken by the corset when you wear one?" Of course my head nearly snapped off as she went on to describe to me that, obviously, every time you wear one, you get that shape because your ribs get broken.

Standing next to me was my wife and maker of said corsets WEARING one. I poked her in the ribs in front of this customer and noted for her that my wife did NOT scream in agonized pain over the corset and "broken ribs" and attempted to use this as evidence that, no her ribs were not broken.

I was told that she's lying and women can take this pain, don't you know that? Women always lie about these things. My wife insisted her ribs were NOT broken and was told, "You don't have to keep this up for ME honey, I know. Don't worry..." (I was looking for a BUNKER at that point. Any of you that know Ynhared...being called "Honey" and "liar" in the same sentence...) I remember trying to retell this to our husband Shayne after all this. That alone took 5 minutes because he was sure we were speaking in tongues or something.

This woman would NOT be convinced, because we were sales people lying to get a sale. (Evil that way - I kept trying to let her know i only lie to get laid. Didn't help.) She went off with her notions and still wanting to know how long it took for your ribs to heal...

That still stands as the STRANGEST question.

Apr. 22nd, 2009

08:32 am - The New Ink

So it's been in the works for the past 5 years. Sketches, more sketches, money raised and spent; and now the work has begun. It's a BIG dragon on my left shoulder. I told the artist that I wanted people to look at it and KNOW that it hurt.

So there's about 6 heinous places of pain in this tat. The tail runs around the bicep and under, curling around the elbow and inside the pit of the elbow. The horns of the dragon hit the trap insertion at the top of the shoulder. He has wide-spread wings that cover my left pectoral and back shoulder blade. the back wing tip lands at the interior trapezius attachment (ow). The front wing hits the sternum coming down from the collar bone (ow). And like a good dragon, it has wing points. The front one moves just into the left front portion of my armpit.

The first sitting, the linework, took 4 hours. I was NOT fit to drive after that one. HOLY crap that was intense! I still look at the work in awe. We're in the healing/itchy stage and it's hard not to think about it alot. I get the color/shading done in August. Pics coming.

Apr. 21st, 2009

07:06 pm - No.... it doesn't fit

OK - some customers are TENACIOUS and HOPEFUL. I respect this in a species and it shows resiliance for hard times.

However... when you have a 22 inch waist - natural waist uncorseted - you will not fit into a 42" corset. (Not without a friend to fit in there WITH you.) But she liked the colow. It was a silk baroque gold brocade; very ornate and shiny. "I'm sorry ma'am; that is not your size.... I can make you one."

Not fearing criticism she pressed on. "Can I try it on?"

OK - I'm a guy. Maybe I don't know enough about corsets to tell. It's not about me anyway, is it? This is America, she can try it on her head if she likes. "Of course you can."

Maybe this makes me wicked. Sometimes words pale when trying to tell someone that they do not fit into something. The Mirror will tell the tale, right? So she tries it on.

This is a corset that will fit someone with a waist around 50+ inches. It's truly large - beautiful, but larrrrrrrge!. She swims in it. Reaching behind her she pulls the laces tighter until the sides of the corset meet. A bolt of confusion crosses her face. She looks at me and asks, "Can you help?"

It was one of those feelings of loss that reached my heart. What to say? "Well, not as such. It's too large for you so it will not fit..."

"You could pull it tighter?" It was a question more than a request.

"Um... no."

"Can't you do anything?"

Again wicked answers crowded my mind for release, knowing they had NO chance of seeing freedom. Reason and Compassion kicked the Evil answers to the floor and fed them bacon. "I can make one that's your size. You see, corsets are fit like shoes... they have a very exacting fit."

Undaunted! "But they have laces...?"

I just nodded sagely. "Yes they do..." I hoped for someone else to come forward to offer us a distraction. the only moment in a convention of 18,000 people where I have a 25 yard radius of openness. "Perhaps we should try something that fits..." I suggest.

"OH... you have one in this color that fits? Oh GOOD. May I see it!" Her excitement made the Evil answers pick the bacon bits out of their numerous teeth and BEG coach to be let in the game. They were treated to the old mashed potatoes from the back of the fridge left over from Thanksgiving where they prooved they were truly evil and should not be released. The potatoes disappeared.

"Well, as I said, we don't have any others in that color. We make them and could make you one like it.

"But it will be smaller," she said dejected.

"And fit....yes."

She set the corset back down on the table and slowly walked away. I sated the Evil answers with coffee ignoring Purity and Health and their weak suggestion that this would be a good week to try to quit drinking coffee again. Clearly the opinion of morons with no sense of self preservation...

06:44 pm - The Spring...

Just returned home from a BIG trip to Seattle.

Two conventions going on at the same time there - Norwescon and Sakuracon; traveling in a big van with 8 year old and family; and I got a new Tattoo.

The combined conventions were something we were not ,looking at with something like excitement. dread more like - we were going to need to double our usual production volume for 6 weeks to make enough stock for these big conventions. So we did.

Most people do not believe me when I say we are the fastest corset making team in the States. Ynhared and I made 110 corsets in 10 days. 200+ in the whole 6 week run. Consequently we had the most successful sales weekend ever in our careers. EVER - and I wonder if we will be able to match this kind of record, but let the record show I'm willing to try.

I also am rarely spoken about any success we ever have, preferring to play such details close to the vest. but I break with this tradition because of the current mess of the economy. You just read about it before reading about me - I'm sharing to let people know the economy is not all bad and there is hope, although I am seeing more of it on the West Coast of the States as opposed to the East.

What can I say, Seattlites are a proud people and will dress...

I got a dragon tattoo on my left shoulder - he's BIG. From the top of my shouldewr his horns stretch into the trapesius insertion over the triceps and his tail curls my bicep and into the pit inside my elbow - OW... ow ... ow... He has two wings that stretch over my chest and back masking him very large and expressive. He was a 5 hour sitting done by Susanna Fischer in Seattle - long may she wave! She hit this baby with an alcohol swab after the work was done and I must say I saw the face of GOD.

Of course, I'm ready for more. Such a pain junky...

We're off to San Jose again to see Fanime over the Memorial Day Weekend. I'm hoping to get to the LA area this summer as well as other spots in the US.

I want to take this moment to make a quick book recommendation - Lisa Mantchev has written thos most delightful fantasy EYES LIKE STARS. I am having a deeply satisfying read - my reward for all the work we've been doing. Available through Amazon.com !!!

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